Camp Happy Unicorns
by orangerose93
Summary: Camp Happy Unicorns is a place for harassed I mean loving parents to drop off their little delinquents I mean angels! Our fugitives Uh, Camp Counselors will take wonderful care of your children. My first Naruto Fanfictionfruits Basket crossover. random.


BOOM.

A huge cloud of smoke smelling remotely of burnt eggs could be seen billowing from the Camp Happy Unicorns' cafeteria. A teenage boy with thick eyebrows and bowl cut hair who was a volunteer camp counselor came sprinting up the decrepit old stairs to the watchtower, where the Counselors were. Banging the trapdoor to the top room of the watchtower with his head, Rock Lee sprung into an exaggerated salute. (Don't worry, thanks to his enormously ostentatious haircut, Rock Lee did not suffer any _**permanent**_ brain damage from the trapdoor.)

Lee froze, his mouth wide open as he gazed at the counselors.

They were playing an extremely yaoi version of strip poker, using checker pieces as poker chips. Of the four counselors currently playing, counselor Hatori (who was usually the reserved one-they must've gotten him drunk) was wearing the most clothing...Sadly, "the most clothing" here means a G-string. Thankfully, Counselor Might Gai was not in the room (all us readers _shudder_ to think- what if he was losing the game...! O.o) There was also a deathly green cloud of smoke coming from what appeared to be a really long pipe.

Counselor Shigure, (who was thankfully hidden by the smoke) stood up.  
"Ah, well if it isn't Lee! Care to join us?", he asked. Lee, who was still petrified due to the large emotional and mental scar he had just received, shook himself out of it

"Counselor Sohma!"

Counselors Hatori, Ayame, and Shigure all looked up.

"Yes?" (Lee had forgotten the three were cousins (which made this game all the more wrong and scarring), so they all had the same last name) he quickly revised his exclamation while frantically (and ironically) hoping the pipe would soon excrete more of that green smoke, which was fading rather quickly and revealing a hentai worthy scene.

"Counselor _**Shigure**_ Sohma!!! The Pretty Ponies cabin has just exploded something in the cafeteria!"

"I'm on it." Counselor Kakashi stood and dressed (with super-cool, hi-def, Jackie Chan, slow-mo worthy ninja-speed) and followed Lee (who was now collapsing with the whole run-up-ten-flights-of-stairs, getting emotionally scarred, and-having-to-run-back-down-again thing) to the cafeteria, which, to Lee's grief, was on the opposite side of the 3 mile wide Campground. They (or should I say Kakashi carrying an unconscious Lee) finally burst open the door to the Cafeteria's Kitchen, where three teenage boys and a big mess awaited.

The eldest boy in the cabin, orochimaru, was standing in front of where there used to be a microwave and was covered in bits of burnt egg whites. There were also pieces of eggshell imbedded in his and the other two boy's hair and clothing. The shortest boy, Gaara, had a microwave door (the door of the deceased microwave by the looks of it) sticking out of the wall of sand that had appeared out of nowhere. The tallest boy, Akito, was standing on the counter with a huge grin/smirk on his face.

"I told you,"Akito snickered," I told you you weren't supposed to put ostritch eggs in the microwave. I told you-"

"-I GET IT, BAKA-"

"-That's not how you fry eggs." Akito stubbornly finished, despite orochimaru's inturruption. Gaara sighed and the sandwall fell, causing the micro-door to fall with a CLANG!!!!

Akito and Orochimaru had just gone into a rather girly-slap fight, but the noise of the falling door startled the two so badly, the keeled over like a couple of fainting goats. Kakashi was finding it rather difficult to not laugh, so he changed the subject to something that he had just realized. Turning to Gaara, he said

"Did he say ostrich eggs? Where on Earth did he get ostrich eggs from?" Gaara grimaced before turning and walking out of the cafeteria

"You do not want to know."

Kakashi thought that the boy was probably right, so he turned to the other two, who were lying unconscious on the floor.

'I had better put them somewhere until they wake up,' Kakashi thought,' I know!! Broom closet!!!!'

Down at the lake, Gaara stood at the end of the dock glaring at all the people who were splashing around in the [puce green lake water. Out of nowhere, a huge tsunami-sized wave crashed down on Gaara, causing him to fall to the murky lake water below with an odd sound somewhere in between a squeak and a moo. He resurfaced, whirling around to try to see who had caused him to succumb to such humiliation.

-Cue "Jaws" music here-

Suddenly, Gaara was attacked from behind with so much force he was smacked face-first into the canoes. Cursing darkly and holding his nose in order staunch the blood flow, he turned to face his attacker.

"Gaara-kun! I've missed you so much alllllll year long and now I get to see you again! Aren't you happy? I am!!!" Momiji Sohma had his arms wrapped around the simmering Gaara, who shook him off.

"Go away, Momiji. I hate swimming- AUGH!!!"

He was about to climb out of the water when he was dragged back in by his collar. His new attacker (for it was not Momiji) was ten times stronger than she should've been. By now a large crowd had gathered around to see this teenage boy getting dragged around in the water by a girl. Poor Gaara sputtered and thrashed as Kagura Sohma pulled him about without the slightest idea that he was nearly drowning.

"Don't be silly, Gaara-kun! Everybody likes swimming, right Temari-chan?"

Temari, Gaara's older sister, did absolutely nothing to save her little brother and instead jumped in to help.

"She's right, Otouto-kun. Oh dear me, you're doing it all wrong! You're supposed to float on your stomach-"

"-Breath in before that Gaara-kun, or you'll drown! Good, now kick like this-"

"I KNOW _HOW_ TO SWIM!!!!! I SAID I DON'T _LIKE_ TO SWIM, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!" Gaara finally got out, looking like a drown cat.

"We know!" Temari and Kagura chimed in together, and the crowd laughed as Gaara stalked back to his cabin.


End file.
